Opening Doorz

By Martin D’Souza | Opening Doorz Editorial | May 03, 2023

‘Breaking’ the internet everyday!

The classic “broke the internet” headline has become a staple of modern journalism, hasn’t it? It seems like every other day, some celebrity or viral meme is “breaking the internet” with their latest shenanigans.

But let’s be real here: How can anyone break the internet? I mean, it’s not like the internet is a vase that you can drop and shatter into a million pieces. It’s a vast, decentralized network of interconnected computers and servers spanning the entire globe. So how exactly does one “break” such a thing?

Perhaps the real problem here is that we’re using the wrong verb. Instead of saying someone “broke” the internet, maybe we should say they “clogged” it, “overloaded” it, or even “tickled” it. I mean, if we’re going for accuracy here, those options make a lot more sense. But then, who is interested in accuracy in today’s day of journalism where ‘click baits’ are lurking when you surf the net?

It’s not just the absurdity of the headline that’s amusing—it’s also the fact that these stories rarely live up to the hype. I mean, sure, Kim Kardashian’s butt may have “broken the internet” for a few hours back in 2014. But did it have any lasting impact? Did the internet collapse in on itself like a dying star? Of course not! It just kept on chugging along like it always does.

So the next time you see a headline proclaiming that so-and-so has “broken the internet,” just take it with a sack of salt. And if someone does manage to break the internet for real, well, I guess we’ll all have to find a new way to waste time at work.

‘Ben Stokes’, Bose D. K., Virat Kohli, Gautam Gambhir!

Well, well, well! It looks like the heat was on between Virat Kohli and Gautam Gambhir on the cricket field on May Day. It’s not every day you see two hot-headed Indian cricketers going at it like a couple of bickering siblings, but when you do, it’s quite the spectacle. It was quite a spectacle in 2013 as well.

RCB after being bundled out for a paltry 126/9 in their 20 overs, packed off Gautam Gambhir’s LSG for 108. Virat being Virat likes to celebrate like a teenager. It’s hard to say as a television viewer what the argument was about, but we can only imagine it went something like this:

Virat Kohli: “Hey Gautam, your face looks like it’s been hit by a cricket ball!”

Gautam Gambhir: “Oh yeah? Well, at least my face isn’t as punchable as yours!”

Virat Kohli: “Punchable? I’ll punch you right here, right now!”

Gautam Gambhir: “Bring it on, baby!”

And so it went, back and forth, like two schoolyard bullies trying to outdo each other. The umpires and players had to intervene and separate the two before things got out of hand.

I’m joking. This supposed conversation is just my imagination.

However, according to reports in a section of the press today, (someone did go to find out the truth) there was liberal use of the North Indian profanity which sounds similar to the name of English cricketer “Ben Stokes”. D. K. Bose anyone? 

But let’s be real here, we all know who would have won that fight. Virat Kohli may be currently in peak physical condition, but Gautam Gambhir is a Mixed Martial Arts exponent. That’s right, folks, Gautam Gambhir is not just an ex-cricketer. So Virat, if you’re reading this, you might want to think twice before picking a fight with Gautam the next time.

All jokes aside, it’s always entertaining to see two passionate cricketers going at it on the field. Let’s just hope they can put their differences aside and continue to play for the good of the team. After all, RCB and LSG need all the firepower these two can get to their respective teams.

Opinion, Fact, Perspective, Truth!

Finally, I read this funny quote attributed to Virat Kohli today. It is in context with the above-mentioned spat: “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” This was first uttered by Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor, and a stoic philosopher. 

So Virat, what you are saying is that if we hear the commentator tell us you scored a century, it is an opinion, not a fact? And also, if we see you having a go at Gambhir it is a perspective, not the truth.

Just wondering!

[Moody Marty: Sometimes funny, sometimes informative, always downright forthright!]

Cover Pic Courtesy: virat.kohli and gautamgambhir55/ Instagram

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