Opening Doorz

By Malaika D’Souza | Opening Doorz Editorial | June 03, 2024

Marriage is a journey of shared experiences and challenges, which demands understanding and support from both partners. It’s not always a bed of roses, and couples often encounter struggles that test their bond. The key is to stand by each other no matter what, finding ways to a solution to differences and reaching decisions together.

Cedric and Gilermina Almeida, who celebrated their Silver Jubilee on December 12, 2023, give us an insight into their married life. Here, they are Opening Doorz as they delve into how, as a married couple, they have maintained a strong, united front despite the hurdles they have faced since 1998.

Excerpts:

Can you tell us how you two first met?

Cedric: Our godmothers were good friends who were working in the same organization. They thought that we would make a good couple and decided that we should meet. Our first meeting was at my Godmother’s place.

Was it love at first sight, after the first arranged meeting?

Gilermina: At first, we were total strangers. We didn’t know anything about the other person. After that, we didn’t speak for the next 4-5 months. Then we finally met again in December, that same year. He was very quiet and patient. Gradually, we started knowing and liking each other. Twenty-five years later, he is still the same—quiet and patient [Laughs].

Cedric: I first took her out for a Christmas dance. Then we kept on meeting every week. She worked in Andheri and I worked at Nariman Point. I lived in Dadar. So sometimes I used to travel to Andheri to meet her or she used to come to Dadar to meet me. There were no Malls in those times so parks and gardens were the usual places where we spent time together. I found her to be a loving and caring woman. She is also very talkative which is the exact opposite of me. After twenty-five years, she still has those qualities!

What was the factor that made you two decide to marry?

Cedric and Gilermina: We planned on getting after getting to know each other. We decided to tie the knot after a year of courtship. It was an exciting experience as we were starting a life together and adding a member to each of our families.

What are some qualities you admire about your spouse?

Gilermina: He is patient and doesn’t get angry at all. He is very loving and gives me a listening ear. He never stops me from doing whatever I want to do.

Cedric: She is fire and I am ice. Like I said earlier, she is a very loving and caring woman. She also has this helpful trait–She will go out of her way to help anyone in need.

Are there any married couples you two look up to?

Gilermina: I looked up to my in-laws. There was so much love between them. My father-in-law was a pillar of strength to my mother-in-law. He used to encourage her to travel even if he couldn’t.

What do you think makes your marriage work?

Cedric: We support each other. There are no secrets kept between us. All our accounts are joint bank accounts. I believe financial secrecy creates tensions. I feel transparency is the key in every relationship and that has worked for us. We support and trust each other. Any and every decision we make for our family is taken together.

Gilermina: I don’t bother to check the accounts. Even he doesn’t question me regarding money issues. Apart from transparency, there’s also honesty that is a huge ingredient in making a marriage work better.

What are some of your favorite things that you love doing together?

Cedric and Gilermina: We like going on trips together and watching television together. We make it a point to spend a lot of time together. However, there are times when we are not able to spend time together because of our hectic schedules.

Any message you would like to give for today’s married couples?

Cedric: First and foremost, marry someone who loves and understands you. Next, ensure that the two of you are transparent in every aspect of life. Transparency is the key to survival in a marriage. Stand by one another no matter what. Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. There are plenty of struggles one will face in marriage and both need to face them together by helping each other overcome them. Even if you share different views, find common ground and stick with the decisions made.

Gilermina: Take all important decisions together. Don’t make haste. Keep the topic on a slow burner before you finally decide on any issue.

In your opinion, how do you think marriages today are different from marriages in the past?

Cedric: There is a visible change in the concept of marriage. Earlier, many couples used to have good support systems-–their parents. Today, couples live separately from their parents. As a result, there isn’t anyone to intervene and play the peacemaker. If disagreements aren’t mended, marriages tend to fall apart. There needs to be understanding between the husband and the wife. Today, in marriages, one sees a lot of monetary conflicts.

Gilermina: Earlier, couples used to spend time together, and eat together. Today, however, time spent together is usually in front of a screen… either the television or the all-prevalent mobile screen.

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