Opening Doorz

By Martin D’Souza | Opening Doorz Editorial | November 06, 2022

Today, Our Mother Margaret would have completed 90 years.

She fell short by 18, finishing her innings at 72. Too young according to me! I mean every child would want their parent to live longer than they did, especially if there was no serious ailment.

But I guess breathlessness can be quite debilitating. And no matter how much we grieve, we need to Let Go… “To everything, there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

Whatever regrets I have of losing her early and her not being with me in the here and now are because she did not get to spend time with my daughters. Children were her priority, spending time with them and being one with them was her specialty.

And looking at how much she invested in kids when we were kids, indulging our friends and the entire neighbourhood makes me sad [sometimes] that mine did not get that time with her.

Celebrating Life with Our Mother Margaret

But I did, and so did my siblings and neighbouring kids who even now, fondly remember those days with Aunty Margaret at picnics or games or flower decorations or Christmas parties or Mother Mary’s Birthday celebrations complete with copel (a flower crown) for every child in the neighbourhood as we marched to Church.

I have been able to be that for my daughters—a kid with my kids!

It took me a long time to let go… almost five years… but then I finally did. Letting Go… The Healing Power of Grieving, my second published book was cathartic. Speaking with those who lost their fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, uncles, aunts… and baring their hearts out to those grieving was indeed healing in itself! 

Today, even after 18 years, there is still that pang of separation… But I don’t grieve her anymore… I celebrate her!

Our Mother Margaret, a Saint in Heaven!

Strangely, when I attended a retreat in 2019, at confession, the Priest told me, “You are missing your mother!” He told me, “ask her to intercede for you as she is a Saint in heaven.” It took me by surprise. I never thought of it that way. I thought saints were canonized by the Pope.

As I walked back into my room, I saw a plaque on the side of my door at the Retreat House, which I had not noticed the day before. It read, “Jesus meets his mother.” The Fourth Station of the Cross! If I was confused then, I was convinced now by what Fr Tony George told me. Ever since that day, sporadically, I have been seeking her intercession.

Recently, only last Sunday (October 30, 2022), she appeared in my dream to answer something I have been battling with in prayer. I offered the dream to God asking for an interpretation and went to Sunday Mass seeking the answer.

Jesus has a sense of humour

The First Reading [Wisdom 11:24: For you love all things that are and loathe nothing that you have made] and the Gospel of the day [Luke 19:10: “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save what was lost.”] confirmed it. And then as I went to receive Holy Communion, I simply told Jesus: “I need more clarity. I have climbed up the sycamore tree like Zacchaeus. Don’t disappoint me. Speak to me.”

And there, He revealed himself in all glory. He answered me. Jesus does have a sense of humour!

So every day, I also seek the intercession of Our Mother Margaret, along with Mama Mary during my prayer.

Happy 90th, Mum…Love You! I know you are ensuring the Angels are in line with the crowns on their head on Mama Mary’s Birthday!

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