Opening Doorz

By Martin D’Souza | Opening Doorz Editorial | January 29, 2018

The Vagina prologue!
Poor Sanjay Leela Bhansali; first some fanatics got to him. For almost a year, Padmaavati was in the eye of a storm whilst in the making. Then there was a censor and release issue. The ‘I’ got knocked off, but Deepika Padukone is still called Padmaavati in the movie. Does not make any sense! Guess, they could not dub so fast and get the change effected. But what was surprising to note was that the protesters did not mind it!

Now, within Bollywood [where there is a Bollywood within Bollywood within Bollywood] as a veteran director rightly says so, there is the vagina issue that has been raised by actor Swara Bhaskar.

It must be noted that SLB did give a disclaimer at the start of the film that it [the film] in no way, promotes sati or jauhar. It was plain to see that it was a film depicting the times of the century it portrayed: 13^th century. If jauhar existed then, what can SLB do? And if a disclaimer has to be given for every little detail, spoon-feeding the viewer, where is the existence of creativity? By the way, lengthy disclaimers have now become an opening chapter in all recent movies!

Coming back to Swara Bhaskar, if she did think she was reduced to a vagina watching the film, what about Listen… Amaya? Wasn’t her character thinking only of vagina when she realized that her mother and her friend Jazz, were more than ‘just friends’? I mean, that is what can be easily perceived by the myopic viewer! I personally loved the movie. I never thought vagina was the issue!

Methinks, Bollywood per se glorifies the vagina: look at all the crass item songs gleefully gyrated to by our top heroines! But no one is ready to clamp down on that!

Dear Swara, will you be able to stop this vagina show? I mean the one where the heroine is in your face from on the screen!

Bhansali-Ranveer-Deepika combo
SLB has found his hit jodi—Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone. Every auter has that magic formula, which he or she can unleash with a set of actors he or she has understood as an artiste. In the past, we had Prakash Mehra and Amitabh Bachchan working together as director and actor in many hit films.

Bhansali has now been working with the two since 2013, when he got the two under his baton for Gooliyon Ki Raasleela Ram Leela in November of that year. All three struck a chord. The film bombed. No, there was nothing wrong with the lead pair; there was just no script!

However, in December 2015, Bhansali made up for the two by pairing them yet again in Bajirao Mastani. The two who were listless earlier, created magic on screen. And now, Padmaavat. Though the two had just one distant scene together, Bhansali ensured that their magic was retained.

Here’s looking forward to another instalment of the Bhansali-Ranveer-Deepika combination.

Vagna Carta!
I think, before the end of the week, to quell all further controversies, Bhansali will rename his movie VAGNA… No ‘I’ in between… No pun intended either!

This way, all those offended by Padmaavat will be happy seeing what they felt, they were reduced to, if only in words!

I’m also sure Bhansali will be signing a charter with Swara Bhaskar, which will be called the ‘Vagna Carta’ (nothing to do with Magna Carta!) to ensure no women will ever be reduced to feeling what she [Swara] felt.

There will be a clause: Swara Bhaskar will not essay any role in any film, where she will make the audience feel like she is glorifying (you know what) by any act of her character, in thought, word or deed!

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