Romance and Love is becoming a rarity!
Romance and love the way we experienced is becoming a rarity says Marshal and Philomena Sequeira who have completed 60 years of married life.
“Celebrating Life”
Romance and love the way we experienced is becoming a rarity says Marshal and Philomena Sequeira who have completed 60 years of married life.
By Aarian Parikh | Opening Doorz Editorial | February 14, 2018
Gone are the days when flowers spoke a million words, when simple gestures such as sharing a meal or writing poems, were not only sufficient but were highly appreciated means of expressing feeling and emotion. Today, everything is fast-paced: ‘You love me, I love you in return’, seems to be the mantra. If in the year gone by, love was born out of struggle and passion, today, love takes birth with the right swipe on a mobile app!
When you ask the proud club of ‘We the Millennials’ what they expect from love and romance, slogans like ‘Netflix and chill’, jump to their lips. For some, Pyaar ek dhoka hai! But how can we overlook the death of romance and true love, which is still thriving, if only you care to see.
Fortunately, amongst the unseasoned lot of the 21st century, we have a sprinkling of veterans that stand as shining examples with their testimonies of love. Love that has stood the test of time. In this day and age where relationships are as fickle as a flame, we bring to light a spark of love that refuses to die down, but is still burning bright, fanning the flames of togetherness across continents, for the last 60 years. Opening Doorz were fortunate to meet one such couple, Marshal (87) and Philomena Sequeira (76), who celebrated 60 years of togetherness and love on January 13, 2018.
Despite having been introduced to each other through family, they proved that love can very well exist through an arranged marriage. Parents to five children who are very successful, and grandparents to eight, they’ve seen life and the world change before their eyes. It was a pleasure to hear the two speak of the times gone by. They have been through much in life, standing beside the other, and continue to do so.
Aarian Parikh (our 18-year-old writer, who came back amazed) connected with the charming couple, to give us a peak into their early days, the tough years and taking care of five children. Their daughters Olivia, Wilma and Aisha who live in Mumbai and two sons, Agnelo who resides in the USA, and Anil, who lives in Syndey, Australia, came together for the Diamond Jubilee Celebrations.
Here’s some insight into what love really is. Buzzing in his head is the Bob Marley classic… Is This Love That I’m Feeling!
Excerpts from an interview where both, Marshal and Philomena give their insights:
Our special memory was a visit to Mount Mary fair and enjoying the Ferris Wheel ride. We did not have the means then to do much so this was special. Moreover, Bandra Feast those days was Bandra Feast. It was a place where everyone congregated. And yes, I believe there are many love stories that began from here.
No problems at all. Our families were eager we get us married soon, once the introduction was done.
My most challenging time was when any of my five children fell sick and I had to rush to the hospital at odd hours to take care of them. This was difficult as we were migrants to Mumbai from Mangalore, my husband worked shifts and hence unavailable at most times. My strength then and now is God in whom I have tremendous faith and in whom I believe all things are possible. Reflecting back, raising five successful children through a single modest income in a 150-sq-feet chawl shows the enormous blessing our faith has carried us through.
People have changed. Today they put themselves first before others, their interests and enjoyment take precedence over caring and respect for others. You see this in all facets of life.
For us, it is difficult to accept these relationships which are rooted in relations of convenience and personal benefit.
The biggest challenge faced by today’s couple is trusting and acceptance of each other for who they are and putting the other before their own personal interest. Given this mind set, it is a challenge for a union to thrive when individuality always takes precedence.
We have grown stronger and are accepting and respectful of each other: this does not mean that we do not experience anger, frustrations or any such emotions that normal couples go through. We have our ups and downs.
A family that prays together stays together: this is something that has been instilled from the beginning in our family. We have prayed the Rosary every evening. We understand and care for each other.
Spend a few minutes in prayer and meditation, be happy and content with what you have, be helpful to the needy and less fortunate, spend time with your loved ones showing them you care and value them.
Romance and love the way we experienced is becoming a rarity.
Contemplating on the short, truthful, from-the-heart responses from this always-in-love couple, one can arrive at the conclusion that each individual is to be held responsible for the integrity of a relationship. It’s true that along with familial values, we are passively taught the meaning of love as well. Some learn love to be self-serving, while others learn that love can be more holistic—to appreciate not just one other, but the people around you and life in and by itself. It is this latter meaning which builds people and bonds as strong and admirable as the Sequeira’s.
When love seems to be being severely tested, one can take a page from Mr and Mrs Sequeira’s book. The lesson they give is simple: we ought to find strength in our relationships, and set our roots deep and strong, passing on the torch to the generations to come.
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(Do you have an inspiring story to share? Do you know of someone who is a ‘hero’? We at Opening Doorz would love to Open our Doorz for you. Do write in to us at editor.openingdoorz@gmail.com)