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“Celebrating Life”
By Moody Marty | Opening Doorz Editorial | December 02, 2025 The greatest I’ve ever seen in ODI cricket is named Michael Bevan. He practically invented finishing before “finishers” became […]
By Moody Marty | Opening Doorz Editorial | December 02, 2025
The greatest I’ve ever seen in ODI cricket is named Michael Bevan. He practically invented finishing before “finishers” became a trend. But sure, why let memory get in the way of marketing?
So yes, the GOAT debate ends here. The bleating continues.
A man desperate to win the IPL title, fighting tooth and nail for 18 long years, mainly for his own personal satisfaction, decided the best way forward was not skill, not leadership, not sportsmanship… but sledging a youngster on debut.
Bravo. Peak maturity. Truly the stuff that GOATs are made of. Because when a goat bleats from the slips, it sounds exactly like that: desperate, nasal, and convinced the world revolves around him. Yes, GOAT. Greatest Of All Time… at self-promotion, dramatics, and the occasional slip-cordon amateur theatre.
Let the cricket books forever record May 29, 2025. On that day, Kings XI Punjab might as well have dug their own grave, engraved it themselves, lay down willingly, and handed the victory garland to RCB—Qualifier 1 style.
The scoreboard reads 60–6 with the Punjab team batting first. In comes Musheer Khan. A tad nervous on his IPL debut. The match was practically won by RCB; the champagne almost opened… but nope. Our resident superstar wanted a little extracurricular trolling. Because why win with grace when you can win with pettiness?
And then came the now-immortal sledging masterpiece: “Yeh paani pilata hai.”
Translation: the boy used to carry water bottles as a reserve player. Ground-breaking observation. Nobel-level anthropology. Kohli discovered water boys in cricket. Someone put this man in textbooks.
For the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong with carrying water. Every player on earth has done it at some point. Virat ne bhi paani pilaya hai. They all did it cheerfully. But I guess when you’re 18 years into chasing a trophy that keeps ghosting you harder than your ex, your insults start sounding like a jealous rant.
And now, just like magic, the world has turned into a giant digital temple of worship because the same man scored his 52nd ODI hundred. Overnight amnesia. Suddenly, Temba Bavuma’s spanking of India—that little incident where our team got tossed around like a rubber ball—has disappeared. Because apparently, if one man scores a century, everything else gets swept under the carpet. I guess the other ten guys are just there for the ambience.
Ravi Shastri, reliable as ever in the praise department, comes sprinting in like a fan club spokesperson announcing: Kohli’s 52nd ODI century “silenced a lot of people.”
Arre baba, kaun sa silence? Which silence are we talking about? The internet is louder than an ICC trophy after-party. Walls of paid campaigns, hashtags taller than Burj Khalifa, “King Kohli” graphics bursting from every corner of social media. If this is silence, I dread to imagine the noise. Maybe fireworks from space?
Let us not forget the déjà vu moment from the Gabba saga (2021). India lifts the trophy in Australia, thanks to Ajinkya Rahane’s calm leadership, but who takes over the headlines? Kohli’s PR machinery, which powered through like a bulldozer on caffeine. Rahane, the gentleman, quietly sits in his comfort zone while the internet practically pushes Kohli on a victory chariot even when he wasn’t in the building. Confidence is good; insecurity disguised as spotlight-grabbing is an art form.
Now we arrive at the grand finale of cricket philosophy, courtesy of our senior sages. According to Sunil Gavaskar, Ricky Ponting has apparently proclaimed that Kohli is “the best he has seen in one-day cricket.”
Really? Interesting. I did not know Sunny spoke for Ponting! The greatest I’ve ever seen in ODI cricket is named Michael Bevan. He practically invented finishing before “finishers” became a trend. But sure, why let memory get in the way of marketing?
So yes, the GOAT debate ends here. The bleating continues.
Here’s the thing on Musheer Khan, the paani pilata boy. He is not your regular “promising youngster.” He’s the cricketer who walks in like a kid. Yet, he bats as though he has grown roots at the crease. The boy has talent, not the Instagram-reel kind. He has the irritatingly serious, scoreboard-bullying, match-situation-respecting kind that gives bowlers nightmares.
Nine first-class matches: 716 runs. Average 51.14. Three centuries, One fifty.
Those aren’t numbers. It’s a polite punch in the face to everyone. This includes those who think Indian talent is only born with a blue jersey already stitched on.
His Ranji Trophy 2023–24 run? 433 runs. Average 108.25.
His double century against Baroda wasn’t accidental. It was the “move aside, I got this” innings of a kid who hasn’t read the manual on fear. Then came the big daddy—a century in the Ranji Trophy final, becoming the youngest Mumbai batter ever to do it.
And don’t forget the bowling; slow left-arm orthodox that quietly turns into wickets when no one is paying attention. Not flashy, not dramatic, just effective. Which, by modern standards, is practically rebellious.
Most importantly, the man doesn’t get rattled; not by big crowds, big names, or big mouths chirping from the slips. You can sledge talent; you can’t shake temperament.
[Moody Marty: Sometimes funny, sometimes informative, always downright forthright!]
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